It's Just a Simple Line

“Tell me, what is it you plan to do
with your one wild and precious life?”

— Mary Oliver

I plan to keep going.

I plan to believe others who believe in me.

I plan to believe in others who will hopefully believe me, too.

I plan to look myself in the eyes more often and let go of the myth that who I see in the mirror/photograph/window isn't really "me" and just love the crap out of whoever she is or isn't.

I plan to trust that I know what I am doing.

I plan to question myself more.

I plan to go outside my comfort zone even when I've just gotten settled.

I plan to dust off all those big, fat, lovely, complicated dreams and take them out for a test drive.

I plan to ask for what I want & need.

I plan to stop feeling so guilty when I ask for more than I can guarantee is possible.

I plan to stop apologizing for everything all the time.

I plan on letting go of the fact that I just apologized to myself for being such a twit with all these silly apologies.

I plan to play my favorite songs on repeat until I can longer distinguish them from the sounds of my life - the subtlest form of soundtrack.

I plan to remember that I don't have to be great at any one thing, but instead that I can be good, or even not so good, at so many, many things.

I plan to figure out if maybe what I am best at is being alive in the world and just noticing it, all of it, as it passes, as if it is a grand parade of sidewalk cracks shaped like lightening rods, partial grocery lists in someone else's grandmother's handwriting, smiles from children who just figured out how to high five, and the inflection of a mother's voice when she answers the phone and hears that it's you on the line.

I plan to be okay if I am not as good at this as I think I might be.

I plan to love myself and my life enough to save it from all the small and petty distractions that might pull me to think it less than it is.

I plan to give myself a little more grace when I falter on any and all of these plans.

I plan to keep going.